I have been into diapers my whole life which, I know sounds outlandish, but is the complete truth. I don’t remember most of my childhood due to a major head injury I had when I was ten. My mother said she used to catch me hiding and wearing diapers as early as five. My mom ran a day care out of our house so diapers were always easily accessible at home. The earliest I can remember was taping on a baby diaper to myself and hiding in my room and enjoying peeing and pooping. I never knew why I liked them so much or what compelled me to put one but none the less I couldn’t go a day without one. My diaper obsession grew to where I was wearing almost every night and most of the time during the day and the older I got the more I wore. In my younger years I would get caught almost on a weekly basis and my parents made me feel taboo for it.
I graduated from high school and left right away for the army. I made it through basic training, medic training, and airborne school without a diaper but as soon as I got to my duty station I began buying depends on a regular basis. I could wear on my off time but being in a force com unit wearing during the working day was next to impossible. I deployed to Iraq and the whole year longed for the next chance I would get to put on a diaper. This is when I found out there were more like me through the internet. I was amazed at how many there were. I also came across the Deeker guide to incontinence and this got me very interested. I started planning for the day when I could go through this training. I would fantasize about the day when I could be diaper dependent and have a legit excuse for wearing that which has been a big part of my life.
I moved duty stations to where I am currently at in Missouri. As soon as I got here I was moved to a job where wearing 24/7 was much more possible. I wore about every day to work and all of the time in my off time. A few months later I had knee reconstruction surgery from and injury in Iraq and had a month off work which began my first 24/7 adventure. I wore for two months straight then stopped because I got a really bad diaper rash that I couldn’t get rid of with a diaper on. I stopped wearing for a couple days and then lost the motivation to put one on and keep it on. That was until about a couple months ago when I started getting emails from a guy back in NC who said that my blogs on another site convinced him to go 24/7. I began chatting with him on a regular basis and got back to wearing 24/7 myself. After a month of that I found Ally and she went 24/7 after a day of talking to me.
So yeah I thought I would try to explain more about what what wearing diapers means to me. Diapers for me are not sexual. Now I am not saying I don’t get turned on by them or seeing people in them but over all it is not a sexual experience for me. Its a straight comfort, passion, way of life for me. Its been a part of my life just as much as a brother or a certain comfort item that you could never let go of. My parents made me feel wrong for liking them as well as my brothers but strangely enough that never stopped me from experiencing the ecstasy that came from taping one on to me. Nothing would keep me from putting them on. If I had to I would use duct tape. I would steal them. Then it came to buying them. Now I order a case almost every month. Diapers have become more important to me than finding a girl friend. Ever since me and my ex broke up I have been wearing more and more longing for the day when I wouldn’t have a choice. Diapers will never grow old for me. When I was a young teen ager every year I thought that would be my last year wearing. Thinking that this phase would go away with the next coming age. Every year I would say when I turn whatever age at the time, I will quit wearing. Yet every time I would get a year older the longing for a diaper would follow me. The desire would become stronger in me and I would become bolder with my wearing. Eventually I got to the point where I told my younger brother closest to me and he expressed how he didnt care. This made me so excited. Someone I could be free to wear around without ridicule. I would wear all the time around him. Sometimes I would just wear a diaper and he would never say anything. Sometimes I would poop myself while we were playing video games and my dad would come in and realize where the smell was coming from and make me go take it off.
I just got through my first day of wearing all day at work in a long time. The morning went uneventful then in the afternoon I knew I was going to be challenged. I recently volunteered to coach youth soccer 6-8 year olds. We had a game and it was 90 degrees out in April. I left from work still wearing my uniform and went to coach my team. That morning I had drank about 16 cups of coffee and alot of water. The heat was bearing down and slowly throughout the game I felt my diaper swell as well as the rest of me soaked with sweat. By the end of the game I was feeling very dizzy but made it without passing out. Got back to work and changed my diaper. It was very heavy but only half of it was urine. This diaper dependency is really going to suck when the weather is super hot. Oh well. As anyone who has gone through the unpotty training will say ” Its not all cotton candy and rainbows. Sometimes it sucks but in the end the need for diapers outweighs the cons.
I have read just about every post on the forums about people wanting to become incontinent, people not wanting to be incontinent, incontinent people telling horror stories, and incontinent people telling the pros of wearing diapers. I have noticed that anyone who posted about wanting it and looking for advice and getting negative feedback makes them change their mind. I am a big believer in the saying ” Perception is reality.” Meaning that how you look at a situation and how you analyze it makes it true in your mind. If you let other peoples experiences and thoughts scare you or change you beliefs on a situation you will never live how you want to live. Your life is not lived by others. It is lived by you. I also live by this saying ” The only experiences and opportunities you live to regret are the ones you didn’t take.” You must make your own choices in life. You must make your own destiny. Someone can get a cone of chocolate ice cream and think it is the worst thing ever and they will preach to you not to get it because it is horrible. If you listen to them and avoid that ice cream, how will you ever know if that ice cream truly is horrible. You could go your whole life thinking that ice cream is horrible without ever trying it, or you could taste the ice cream yourself and come up with your own opinion on how it tastes. You may be ridiculed by the person who didn’t like it, but as long as you like it what does it matter what they say.
If you go through life complaining about things you have seen, heard, or experienced, are you really living? Diapers will be a part of my life forever. If someone cant accept me for wearing them whether out of need or out of want then they can choose to not be near you. It isn’t that hard to find understanding individuals. Life is too short to not experience it all but at the same time Life is long enough to move on an start again. Diapers are not a restrictor. They do not stop you from functioning. I have played tennis in them, partied in them, bowled in them, worked in them, pretty much anything i have done without them i have done with them. When I am not wearing them I am constantly thinking about them. When I am wearing them I feel complete. Are diapers really such a socialogical taboo? Honestly what is normal? Is there a set standard on normal living? A set list of likes, dislikes, loves and hates? The answer is no. Everyone is different making this world a great place. Its like this……. I am not gay. I have no attraction to guys. Does that restrict me from befriending a homosexual just because we don’t have the same preferences?
Hope yall have gotten a bit from my ramblings. I will become diaper dependent.